Does It Fuel You, or Does It Drain You? Organize Your Belongings To Match The Life You Want

The core answer to deciding what to actually keep in your home is determined by asking yourself this question: 

Does it fuel you, or does it drain you?

As a professional organizer, I spend a lot of time thinking about material possessions and why we feel the need to hang onto them. Not to mention, I often wonder why it’s so hard to let certain items go.

I’ve recently been reunited with my childhood belongings when my parents moved, so it has been a huge reminder of the reasons to prevent myself from owning too many items that aren’t serving me. 

It can feel really good at first to connect with an object and the memories associated to it, but gradually it turns into a feeling of weight and burden that clouds your day.

You may not even be conscious of it, but the more items surrounding you that aren’t serving any real purpose or meaning, the more you are cluttering your thoughts, complicating your day, and holding yourself back from focusing on what’s important in your life. So how do you figure out if your belongings are fueling you or draining you? Here is an exercise to help.

What are my goals?

The first thing to do is think about your goals and what matters to you most in life. It can be something as simple as wanting to spend time with your partner or your kids. It can even involve cooking nice meals or making time to relax. Do you have future plans or hobbies you want to pursue? Add this all to a list that you can reflect on later. 

Next, choose a single closet or room to focus on first, and review the contents of that space one item at a time. Ask yourself the following questions about each item.

#1 What is my purpose for this item?

The answer to this question can be simple, but “purpose” doesn’t mean it has to be a utility. Think about the use this item serves specifically for you, and not necessarily just what it was designed for. It can be functional, sentimental, or even something that makes you smile.

-If it’s a clock, its purpose can be to tell time, or it can just be for decoration. It could also be a family heirloom that was inherited, but it’s important to get to the root of the purpose it’s serving in your life— not what someone else might have intended it for. If it’s an heirloom, is the purpose of keeping it because you love it, because you think it might have value and you plan to sell it, or because you feel guilty getting rid of it?

-If it’s a ping pong table, the purpose can simply be entertainment.

-No matter what the object, if you’re keeping it because it’s sentimental, the “purpose” can be to remind you of a person or specific memory.

#2 When is the last time this item served a purpose in my life?

Within the past year, has that item been used for your personal reasons mentioned above?  If not, when was the last time?

-Do you (or anyone else) reference that clock to see what time it is? If it’s for decoration, is it something you notice and admire? If you plan to sell it, do you have a timeline for when you will sell it by?

-If it’s a ping pong table, when is the last time someone played a game of ping pong on it? 

-Do you ever look at/ read/ listen to the sentimental item?

#3 Is it fueling me or is it draining me?

This is the most important question of all, and the answer is sometimes hard to admit to ourselves.

So what exactly does it mean to say that you are being “fueled” by an item? That’s where your original list of goals is going to come into play. When you look at the list of goals for your life and your future plans, how does this item help you to achieve those goals? What role does this item play in where you want to be in your life, and is it serving that role in the way you actually intended? If the object is playing an active role, serving its intended purpose, or reflecting the life you want to lead, chances are it is fueling you. The function itself doesn’t have to be directly used by you, as long as it is used by someone in a way that aligns with your list of goals and what matters to you in life.

There is a good chance that if something isn’t actively fueling you, it’s doing the total opposite and draining you instead. You might think at first that certain things can be neutral. However, in my opinion, there are only varying degrees of fueling vs. draining. If an item is serving a necessary function—something as basic as a dish sponge—it’s still on the “fueling” side of the spectrum. On the other hand, if you have collected a lifetime’s supply of dish sponges and continue to buy more, then it is draining you. It’s taking up space in your home (and therefore in your mind) without serving its intended purpose.

Let’s use the original examples again.

-Let’s say the clock is located in a guest room for your family and friends to use as an alarm clock when they visit. It’s fueling you because it’s serving an intended purpose that aligns with your goals, even if the function itself isn’t being used by you directly. The purpose related to your life goals is that you like when your friends/family visit, and you want people to feel comfortable during their stay. In contrast to that, if you’re only keeping the clock out of guilt because it’s an heirloom, it’s draining you. If you originally planned to sell it but you decided that 7 years ago, it’s also draining you. 

-If you love watching your grandkids use the ping pong table when they come over, it’s still fueling you. Again, the “purpose” in relation to your life goals would be that you love to see your grandkids have fun at your house, even though the function of the item is directed toward them. Alternately, if it’s become a default surface to collect miscellaneous paperwork and not actually getting used, it’s draining you.

-If your sentimental item is in a box in the attic or the back of a closet and you haven’t looked at it for years, it’s draining you. If you initially kept it for sentimental reasons but it doesn’t particularly spark an emotion or memory, it’s draining you. If you have it displayed on the wall to reminisce and you like how it makes you feel, it’s fueling you.

Why does this matter so much?

Let’s go back to your goals and why owning too many items without purpose can drain you. 

Let’s say one of your goals is to make time to relax and to spend quality time with friends and family. First of all, the more items you own, the more things there are to keep clean, and cleaning takes up time. If you own a lot of clothing, you have seemingly never-ending laundry to fold. You may spend a long time trying to get ready to leave the house because your closet is so packed, you can’t find what you wanted to wear. If you have a lot of cluttered surfaces, there are more items collecting dust (a.k.a. more things to clean). You may also be uncomfortable inviting people to your home if the chairs are piled up with belongings, or the tables are too cluttered for serving food or putting down a drink. Time lost and discomfort are two consequences that can result from owning things that aren’t serving their intended purpose. These items are draining you because they are taking away from your goals of relaxing and spending time with friends and family.

If you have a new hobby and your closets are filled with unused items (maybe even a past hobby that you no longer pursue), then you don’t have room to buy and store the supplies you need for your new hobby. You may not have a clear work space to use. Loss of space for activities that matter to you is another unintended consequence of items that drain you.

I use the words "fuel" and "drain" because I find it to be a relatable description of what can help to power your life as opposed to sucking away that power. If you fuel a car, you are filling it up so that it can drive to your destination. To drain a car would be like puncturing the gas tank, taking an unnecessary trip, or having a flat tire. All of those things would keep you from reaching where you are trying to go. This is similar to achieving what you want in your life. If your car represents your life and your goals are the destination, then anything that contributes to getting you toward the destination is your "fuel." Any factors that obstruct you are poking little holes in your gas tank and making it hard to drive any further.

The process of going through items in this way can take time, so give yourself patience and lots of grace. Making decisions about sentimental items is especially hard, and sometimes the process of letting go has to happen in gradual phases of acceptance. Tackle this project in small chunks and don't be afraid to call on the help of an organizer. Imagine how nice it would be to walk into any room or open up any closet in your house and see a reflection of all that's important to the person you have become--instead of just a place where unused items get stashed away. If you had a house that contained only what fuels you, anything
would be possible.